Now more than ever, girls face overwhelming pressure to be beautiful. For many young girls, and even most adults, the media shapes their definition of beauty. Girls are drenched in images that suggest beauty is entirely about outer appearance and that in order to be beautiful, you must wear trendy clothes, use certain beauty products, and make all this appear effortless and natural. Young girls have little idea that most of the images they see on TV or social media require a team of make-up artists, hair stylists, wardrobe consultants, lighting specialists, talented photographers and photo-shop experts.

These digitally enhanced images have a powerful influence on how a girl feels about herself. For example, according to the NYU Child Study Center, a survey of 5-12th grade girls, 59 percent were dissatisfied with their body shape. Of girls in that same age group, 47 percent said they wanted to lose weight because of photos they saw online .  Dove’s global study, The Real Truth About Beauty, showed that 72% of girls feel pressure to be beautiful.  Even more alarming: girls as young as eight talk about dieting and count calories.  

This preoccupation with looks has a domino effect and undermines a girl’s confidence and inner-beauty. When girls start placing a greater importance on how they look rather than on how they feel or what they are capable of, their sense of self-worth weakens. When they start comparing themselves to an ‘ideal image’ your teen’s self-esteem plummets.  A low self-esteem negatively affects her behavior at school, at home, and with her friends. She is less likely to speak up in class. She is more likely to be reactive or defiant at home. She is also more likely to engage in harmful activities.  Another bit of evidence from Dove Research: Rebuilding the Foundation of Beauty Beliefs: When girls feel bad about their looks, 70 percent disconnect from life—avoiding normal daily activities like attending school or even giving their opinion—which can put their dreams on hold, and jeopardize their potential as future leaders, decision makers, and role models. 

So what’s a mom to do? 

1. Examine your own beauty beliefs. You are one of the strongest influences in your daughter’s life. Your attitude and actions contribute to her inner dialogue and inform the choices she will make in her life. 
2. Cultivate your own strong, confident attitude toward your body and model that for your daughter. When she hears you sigh when you look in the mirror, or make subtle complaints about an extra pound, new wrinkle, or what you “really shouldn’t have” eaten, she starts to normalize self-criticism. Teach her to accept rather than criticize. Remind yourself and your daughter that each day is different and our bodies are always changing.  
3. Talk with your daughter about her body and the changes she will go through.  Discuss those changes with a degree of excitement and wonder.  Remind her that she inhabits an amazing, extraordinary body! She should honor and respect all that it’s capable of!
4. Help your daughter make sense of the media. Talk to her about the images she sees and remind her that they are fantasy, not reality. Talk to her about all that it takes to get “picture perfect” and that it is impossible to live up to something that is not real. 
5. Embrace the uniqueness of each other- both inside and out. Celebrate the quirks and laugh off those bad days. 
6. Get moving with your daughter. Try one of my signature Mother Daughter Yoga classes.  These are designed especially for 8-12 year old girls and their moms. In each class, we dive into topics related to teen’s self-esteem, body image, confidence, and healthy choices.  These classes lay a foundation for trust and connection.  They also provide moms an opportunity to plant the seeds for deeper, ongoing conversations all while having fun!

Contact me to schedule your very own Mother-Daughter Yoga class!